Mourning on Mother’s day + four ways to spend it

Posted on May 7, 2019

Mother’s Day is quick approaching and it quickly went from a day that I loved to celebrate to my least favorite day in the world. My inbox is filled with suggestions for mom, radio ads offering deals and signs everywhere that I just want to avoid all together. Mother’s day is a day to thank the women who raised us, and while I am extremely happy for the time I had with my mom and all she did for me, this day is now just a painful reminder that she is gone. Whether the loss happened recently or it has been a few years- this day will never be easy.

Losing your mom is such an isolating experience especially when they were there for you for everything. My mom was my best friend and there are so many times that I feel so alone now without her. Finding others who get it and have been through it is such a unique comfort. Its the group that you never wanted to be a part of, but that group lifts you up in the best way possible.

Mother’s day brings up both good and bad emotions. It’s this unfair feeling that everyone on social media still has their Mother while yours is not there. You would never wish this pain on anyone and you are happy they are honoring their mothers but you don’t want to see it all over your feed on a day that is already painful.

I am the type of person who keeps to themselves and hides the tears and heartache as I don’t want to be a burden for others. I hate the disease Cancer and what it has taken from me. I don’t want those who still have their moms to feel guilty but just understand the ups and downs I am going through on this day. Mourning a loved one is something that never ends, is just evolves.

Here are 4 ways to spend Mother’s Day after your mom has passed

Spend it with loved ones.
- Celebrate your mom with the people who knew her best. Remembering the good times and reflect on the good things in her life. I always go visit my Mom’s parents as I am lucky they are still alive
Make her favorite meal.
- Even when my Mom was sick she sat on a chair in the kitchen in pain and taught me some of her favorite recipes, to make sure I knew how to make them like her and live up to her amazing cooking skills. Every time I make any of her favorite meals I always find myself smiling thinking of her.
Provide support for others
- Provide support for others who are going through the same thing. Even if you haven’t lost your Mother reach out to your friends who have, it is the smallest gesture that reminds us that you still think of us and our Mom. We don’t want her to be forgotten so we thank you.
Pay it forward
- Use your time to help others. You can donate or volunteer your time at your favorite place or simply reach out to other Mother’s in your life to tell them how much they are appreciated. My Mom’s loved working with Guiding Eyes for the Blind and while I can’t be a puppy raiser in my new apartment anymore we still donate. Once I buy a house I hope to help raise the puppies again.

It is important that we take care of ourselves on this day.

As Mother’s Day approaches this year, I ask you to keep those who have lost their Mother’s close to your heart. To cherish your mom while you still have her and do the things that makes her happy even if you hate it.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the mom’s out there and moms to be